1.08.2008

GOODBYE 2007

Its the new year again and its time to say goodbye an farewell to a 2007

2007 was a roller coaster ride for me...an emotional one to be exact. There were times of joy and pain....there were times I was high on cloud 9 and times when I wish id just sleep forever and not wake up, to not relive the pain over and over again. It was a year that saw me make changes, changes that I swore to keep and implement. I am never gonna repeat watever mistakes I made, I am never gonna bleed myself over the past.

The idea of love and marriage, one which I have been stubbonly holding on to, the pureness of it all and etc, was forced to be let go. My beliefs in them came crashing down one day and ive not yet able to make a comeback I guess. So for the time being, they are what you may call, 'realised' (fantasy pulled to reality).

Ive been dropping like a rock, since i lost my wings, falling endlessly to the arms of self destruction, occasionally clinging on to loose items along the way, once drained, id fall again, and that was how I was for the a few months. BUT, I managed to get a firm grip soon afterwards, and have began slowly climbing back up again, taking a little step at a time, being patient and accepting things as they are. At times I wish I can fly back up again, but I know thats its impossible right now. Eventhough I have chances at flying back again, through the wings that flocked around me, I stubbonly choose the rugged path. Im afraid, to be led high up and then drop again like a rock. Or worst still, do the same to another. Id rather take my time, slowly, for I know good things comes for those who wait...and I shall wait.

Like the picture above suggested, dats the kind of thing ive been feeling for a long time. I want to find 'happYness'. Yes with a 'Y' like that Will Smith show. I want to go through it raw, experiencing all the cuts and bruises that goes along with it. And when I finally get it, then Id be THAT man, the man who have truly found happYness.

So as we bid farewell to 2007 and embrace 2008 with open arms, learning to let go of all those pain, anger and such. To just accept things slowly...to just take a breather at a time.

To look up in to the clear sky and having a new sense of hope

A hope that the right pair of wings will come by, pursuading this beated and bruised man to rise up together, A hope I know is possible to achieve for this stubborn heart does have its weakness. With the right key, I shall be free.

So to all you people out there, heads up and ride on.

Lifes a journey, and this is a new chapter of it....

Before I end this post, let me share with all of you a collction of pictures from the actress of 'Witch Yu Hee' , Han Ga In. Maybe I will imagine her face while making that long climb