11.27.2007



Breaking Free
Its Tuesday, 27th of November 2007. I am officially free. (yessar!)
Its been a hectic month, preparing for exams, i pop up in here occasionally to upload stuff which I think is good (like Esmee Dantes), and stuff that I wanna share with everyone (I can get really impatient when im all excited about smthing ). Anyways who knew that studying for exams can be so much fun. Ive met so many new friends, some new faces, some old ones and also there are the MIA ones. like ppl who are in yr 4 and suddenly pop out from nowhere...
Exam wise, I tawakal. Id tried hard, and I hope to see the results that I want.
December is welcoming me with open arms! id be 'attatched' this december to T.Arts and Kemuning. I have bbqs to attend to and also an 'escape' trip insyaAllah.
(But yan...what about your FYP??)
Good question. Fyp will be done as planned, hopefully 3 days per week, Damn im gonna get so tired. TP leh....so far.....dammit.
anyways...for those still with exams....GAMBATTE!!
For those who are free...welcome to the good life.
thats all for now....b4 i leave...heres one of my favs...
Photograph - Nickelback


"Photograph"

Look at this photographEverytime I do it makes me laughHow did our eyes get so redAnd what the hell is on Joey's headAnd this is where I grew upI think the present owner fixed it upI never knew we'd ever went withoutThe second floor is hard for sneaking outAnd this is where I went to schoolMost of the time had better things to doCriminal record says I broke in twiceI must have done it half a dozen timesI wonder if it's too lateShould i go back and try to graduateLife's better now then it was back thenIf I was them I wouldn't let me inOh, oh, ohOh, god, IEvery memory of looking out the back doorI had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floorIt's hard to say it, time to say itGoodbye, goodbye.Every memory of walking out the front doorI found the photo of the friend that I was looking forIt's hard to say it, time to say itGoodbye, goodbye.Remember the old arcadeBlew every dollar that we ever madeThe cops hated us hangin' outThey say somebody went and burned it downWe used to listen to the radioAnd sing along with every song we knowWe said someday we'd find out how it feelsTo sing to more than just the steering wheelKim's the first girl I kissedI was so nervous that I nearly missedShe's had a couple of kids since thenI haven't seen her since god knows whenOh, oh, ohOh, god, IEvery memory of looking out the back doorI had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floorIt's hard to say it, time to say itGoodbye, goodbye.Every memory of walking out the front doorI found the photo of the friend that I was looking forIt's hard to say it, time to say itGoodbye, goodbye.I miss that townI miss the facesYou can't eraseYou can't replace itI miss it nowI can't believe itSo hard to stayToo hard to leave itIf I could I relive those daysI know the one thing that would never changeEvery memory of looking out the back doorI had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floorIt's hard to say it, time to say itGoodbye, goodbye.Every memory of walking out the front doorI found the photo of the friend that I was looking forIt's hard to say it, time to say itGoodbye, goodbye.Look at this photographEverytime I do it makes me laughEverytime I do it makes me...



can`t you even see through me? `` Tuesday, November 27, 2007

11.18.2007



Unwritten

Introducing Esmee Dantez, a youtube born star from the netherlands. Damn...I wish a gal can sing like this to me....haha

Oh...Natasha made a cameo....its awesome..go watch




I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefinedI'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplannedStaring at the blank page before youOpen up the dirty windowLet the sun illuminate the words that you could not findReaching for something in the distanceSo close you can almost taste itRelease your inhibitionsFeel the rain on your skinNo one else can feel it for youOnly you can let it inNo one else, no one elseCan speak the words on your lipsDrench yourself in words unspokenLive your life with arms wide openToday is where your book beginsThe rest is still unwrittenOh, oh, ohI break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the linesWe've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that wayStaring at the blank page before youOpen up the dirty windowLet the sun illuminate the words that you could not findReaching for something in the distanceSo close you can almost taste itRelease your inhibitionsFeel the rain on your skinNo one else can feel it for youOnly you can let it inNo one else, no one elseCan speak the words on your lipsDrench yourself in words unspoken Drench yourself in words unspokenLive your life with arms wide openToday is where your book beginsThe rest is still unwrittenThe rest is still unwrittenThe rest is still unwritten (more)





can`t you even see through me? `` Sunday, November 18, 2007



"Cepat benar engkau pergi

Hujan masih belum berhentiBanyak benar soalan ku tadiHatimu terusik kini... ooo

Sebagai kekasih kuLayak aku bertanyaSekuat mana cinta mu

Adakah insan lain di hati mu selain ku

Sayang bukannya sehari duaPercintaan kita iniYang dipersudah dipateri

Sayang jangan ikut perasaan

Marah jangan disimpanKu hanya ingin menduga

Dan kini aku tahu....."

I love the song.....Exist rawks



can`t you even see through me? `` Sunday, November 18, 2007

11.12.2007



Alhamdulilah


Changes sure need to be done....some are in the planning stages...while some are still in process. Well...I cant wait for exams to end

By the way......wat HE gives....he can easily takes back....

I realise that there are more things that needs to be done......well...this song says it all


;">Alhamdulillah (Malay Version) Lyrics by Too Phat


Dian Sastro: disaat waktu berhenti...kosongdimensi membutakan mata,memekakkan telingalalu diri menjadi hampasaat paradigma dunia tak lagi digunakan untuk menerka*sadarku akan hadirmu,mematahkan sendi2 yang biasanya tegak berdiri

Yassin:ult li albi bissaraha (I'm opening up my heart with honesty)hayya nab'idil karaha (Let's avoid the hated and hatred)syakkireena a' kulli ni'ma (Let's remain thankful with what we have)ba' ideena anil fattana (Let's avoid all lies and sins)

Malique:merenungi luar jendela,mengagumi kebesaran yang Maha Esaku menilai kehidupan dari sudut berbezatak memadai hanya kecapi rasa selesamaukan harta yang mampu beli 1 semestaberpesta ke pagi botol bergelimpangankekasih muda bukan takat berpegang tanganharta dan jamuan nafsu tidak berkekalanbila menjelang tua bukan itu jadi bekalandan jangan puisi ini disalah tafsir pulabukan berkhutbah cuma betuli diri juaingin hidup sempurna aset nilai berjuta,saling tukar wanita,senyum dan mati tuabakat dikurnia jangan disalah gunajangan kufur nikmat yang diberi percumaguna kelebihan untuk hikmah bersamajagalah nama hidup penuh pementasan dan dramaada berisi ada yang kurus,ada melencong ada yang lurus bukan semuanya tulusada sempuna ada kurang upaya ada yang jadi buta hanya bila sudah kayasebesar rumah bermula dengan sekecil bata,boleh hilang dalam sekelip mataucaplah alhamdulillah bukannya sukar, kerna semua nak kaya atau besartetap Allahuakbar!!!Joe

Flizzow: jadikanlah ku tentera Fisabilillah yang tertera di kalimah harap memanduilahentah apabila persimpangan tiba,hidup penuh rintangan harus kuhadapinyaharapku tidak terlupa diri bila gembira,dan cuma mula mencari kau disaat hibaku cuma manusia penuh dengan kesilapan tapi bisa membezakan cahaya dan kegelapantabah bila dihalangan duri onak dan cobaanteguh bila dicobakan keruh kuasa dan perempuansentiasa legar diminda,dikejar dan dipinta dari zaman bermula hingga ke akhirnyaku mengerti siapa ku tanpamu disisi dan apa guna posesi juga posisisementara ini cuma hanya puisi,nukilan tulisan dan bisikan isi hatimencari keterangan,menjiwai peranan menepati pesanan janji juga sarananalhamdulillah atas kurniaan rezeki,moga tidak terleka dalam perjalanan ini

Ahli Fiqir: aku yang memandang di dalam lubuk hati,mencari-cari zat rahsia yang katanya tersembunyiaku yang melihat alam meliputi wujud menyertai lalu ku pindahkan alam ke dalam mata hatiaku hakiki,aku mengerti segala yang terjadi di langit dan di bumigunanya tiada fantasi, pelik dan benar,qada' dan qadar kau berilah ku kekuatanagar dapat ku hindarkan segala kesesatanusah kau biar nafsuku terliur dari pandangan majazi ini,aku yang hodoh lagi hina amat benar merinduimoga cahaya lailatul tak membutakan mataku,semoga segala puji tak ku meninggi dirimoga segala janji dapat juga ku penuhi,moga dapatku hadapi tikaman dari belakanglidah setajam pisau, ku tidak akan risau dengan cabaran sepanjang perjalananku pasrah ku akur 7,8,6 Alhamdulillah Syukur...

Dian Sastro: sujudku pun takkan memuaskan inginku'tuk hanturkan* sembah sedalam kalbuadapun kusembahkan syukur padamu ya Allahuntuk nama,harta dan keluarga yang mencintadan perjalanan yang sejauh ini tertempaalhamdulillah pilihan dan kesempatanyang membuat hamba mengerti lebih baik makna dirisemua lebih berarti akan mudah dihayatiAlhamdulillah,Alhamdulillah,Alhamdulillah....



can`t you even see through me? `` Monday, November 12, 2007

11.11.2007



Answers


Today...I spent the whole day in school mugging. While at it, I managed to actually surf youtube and find some really neat stuff. It all started fm pacheabel cannon. It made me remember the version they had from my sassy girl and then...to this video, I BELIEVE. Do take note that the lyrics do not reflect my thoughts. But it sure is sweet. Anyways, Ive found answers to questions that ive been asking myself for a very long time. I wonder why it was not brought up before. If it really mattered that much...then why wasnt it discussed when I asked. Im no god, I have my flaws and im not able to see things in the way others see it. When I told you problems I had with you, why didnt you say the same about me? Why is there no communication?

Well..it just tels so much. But, hey its over and done with :)
Im just glad It finally came out from your mouth :)

"If I happen to lose a job, I can always go find another one, However, other things, when I happen to lose them, I might never get them again."

Anyways....enough about this.







This is the subtitle for what the protogonist said to the guy regarding tips on tackling his EX

"...if she hits you. act like it hurts even if it doesn't. If her feet start to hurt trade shoes with her. On your anniversary bring her a single red rose and present it to her in front of a group of people..."

If you have not watch this movie, I urge you to watch it

This is the full version of what he said...





can`t you even see through me? `` Sunday, November 11, 2007

11.06.2007



I dont need them







Its just passed asar....and this mind couldnt focus much to study...so I decided to blog for a lil bit. I think I need a break....from all the shity things in my life right now, to reassess myself and plan for the next few years of mylife. Since things happened, I think I need to change the plan I had before.



I always think that I need someone.....someone who I can care for, someone who can care for me and etc...and prolly cos of my age too...im not getting any younger. Well, maybe I dont need it as much now...as in maybe its not the right time to be thinking about all of this. They are right, why do I need to worry about these issues when all it does is make life more complicated for me. Further more...Im a guy...time is not a factor for me.Love will come....maybe its already there...present...but im not able to cherish it as much.



Complications which will lead to my downfall. (it has proven me right so far).

So I ask myself....are all these necessary? True, id feel left out when I go out on outings with friends who are already attatched or engaged, true it will get lonely and all but hey....at least im free to make decisions for me now...and not thinking about how it might affect the other party. In short..im free....



So lets get myself conditioned to how things were a few years back...when im single and had so much time for myself, friends whom I can send my time with till late. I realised somethings from a friend today...things related to watever that ive been bothered with. Im not at any lost. And from my observation...I dont think I am too. Its impossible to explain stuff to people when their mind is fixed,



"What use is your eyes if you cant see...What use is your heart if you cant feel"

" Apa gunanya mata jika itdak dapat melihat, apa gunanya hati jika tidak dapat merasa?"



I have too many flaws......flaws which im trying to correct. However, there are just things that I cant ammend.My Identity...what makes me..ME. You know..like things you hear bout ppl..oh..hes very stern, hes very matured...oh him? He is smart and well organized. ME? Im just a carefree funny guy. The merepek guy who doesnt seem to know what he's doing....the kind that seems to not bother bout crucial things. Well sit down with me for coffee...id let you see a different side to your assumptions. I tease alot....thats heriditary...dad got it from gramps....and I got it from dad. Thus explained. My outlook deceives not only others but me as well. I seemed casual in times of crisis, look 18 when im 25....(hahaha) and even forced to show my IC when I buy my ciggs. I use to get complaints about my dressing."can you wear something appropiate...thats kinda like your age?" WHAT? Sorry but yanz dont do shirt and pants. I wear what I feel comfortable in...even if it does look a bit off.....as long as im not breaking any rules...im rather contented.



Ok this entry is just to occupy my time and gain my alertness...Im not 'whining' or anything and its not so private and personal as to be blogged in LJ.

Im ammused by how ppl tend to judge me....without even giving some benefit of a doubt. Heh....too bad.



Ok now its back to ROBOTICS EE4268. Buck up buddy....juz a bit more....and the world is yours....

All the best 4 the Exams peeps

God Bless



can`t you even see through me? `` Tuesday, November 06, 2007

11.04.2007



The Butterfly
Qisas.com


A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go nofurther.


So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened!
In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were Allah’s(God’s) way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If Allah allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.
We could never fly!


This is so true isnt it. Personally, If I hadnt go thru what I did, I wouldnt be where I am today. It made me wiser in many ways and see things better. (:

"It does feel lonely at times...but you just have to keep yourself busy"


can`t you even see through me? `` Sunday, November 04, 2007

11.03.2007




The Big Reunion



After a long night at An-Nadha Mosque for the NTUMS Movie marathon cum Qiam, I zoom off straight after subuh (taking 15 min fm Bishan to Jurong West!). Got home, checked my mail, and zonked out.


I woke up around 2, to be awaken by my sister, all dressed up. The situation was, Dad has a big high school reunion today. Ive confirmed with Mum that non of them are bringing their kids and so, I dont have to go. I dont know why but the conclusion was, all of us have to go. Ok im not in a mood to argue and all after ive just had a so called 'holy night' at the mosque, so im so not gonna waste that night for a blown up arguement.


So the plan was to go to a Mr Husairi's house at sembawang. So once there, we were rather impressed by the greenery of the place. Its a cluster terrace and its 5 floors high inclusive of the basement. So we met the rest of the gang. The clique from Pasir Panjang Secondary, Sunaryo, Anwar, Din, Maliki, Husairi and Nuriza(Mrs Husairi). Mr Jais couldnt make it though.


As expected, none of their children came. reasons "Oh my children are all grown up." My dad replied "My Son is also grown up what" haha...well...its not like I like to tag along my parents ok. Its just that as the eldest son, I think I have to get to know his close friends. Its highly encouraged.


So I felt really awkward, but as always, I made conversations with them, here and there.Now when we were ushered to eat , We kinda overheard that their (Husairi and Nuriza) daughter's name is Shirin..Shirin Husairi. Yanti found her oddly familiar. We then concluded that she was the one from Singapore Idol's first season. This was later confirmed by Mdm Nuriza.


She was there, entertaining her guests, Shes 24 and boy does she look different. Shes very friendly though and she is still active singing in private functions. We exchanged a few words and then she was off...for a performance.


It was a rather fulfilling event. Dad realy looked happy, meeting old buddies...reliving old times. Cik Husairi even had their old photos scaned into his phone...cool! Dad looked so good back then...hahaha



can`t you even see through me? `` Saturday, November 03, 2007

11.02.2007



Happilly Ever After

Lately, some of my friends are already getting married, some engaged, some still in their endless romance. And me? Here I am, back to where I was...alone.
Experience taught me a great deal, some I take with a pinch of salt, some I still have fear in...But most importantly, it had taught me lessons which I cherish for life. Ive seen a new shed of light. Im embracing this new found wisdom.

Marriage is something that most of us would want to end up in. To have someone who loves you more than themselves, to know that you can count on that person, to feel safe and wanted. However, lately, the idea of a sacred and hapilly ever after marriage seemed rather unrealistic. There are stories of wives cheating behind their husbands and vice versa, divorces and so on. A friend related a story of a doting wife and mother...who slips into the car of another man to offer him a BJ. WTH?!

I am a believer of Marriage. I would want to have and lead a family of my own, full of love and respect, the kind that I am brought up in. However, Im constantly having this fear...that such dreadful things mentioned earlier might befall upon me (Nauzubillah).

On my part, Im sure that id commit...but the same doesnt go both ways. I worry constantly if ive made the right choice, to know that my future partner is someone I can trust, and not go flirting around. Ive been cheated before by one of my 'partners'...and I do not want to be there again. Thank God it ended. For it could have been worst.

I hope shes happy where she is now.

Well...its kinda weird to be thinking about this. I mean I wouldnt want to But, i think its about time I question myself about this things. Im 25 for crying out loud.

Ive had my share of mistakes, maybe these insecurities got to the better of me. I dont blame anyone for this....this are issues I need to deal with....

May god shower me with his mercy and blessings.

(I hate talking about this kinda things!!)


can`t you even see through me? `` Friday, November 02, 2007

11.01.2007



Kian


Kian jauh
Kian hilang
Kasih antara kita
Nampak tenang
Pada zahirnya
Tapi batin terseksa
Yang terguris tak nampak dimata
Yang terhiris terluka
Sesekali terbit air mata
Tahan sebak didada
Ke manakah..nak dibawa
Resah kian melanda
Di manakah Hendak ku khabar
Pilu di dalam dada
Yang kekal Disana
Biarlah..kita bersama
Usahlah
Hanyut terus terlena
Kerana dunia
Pada aku masih ada Kasih belum terhakis
Sebenarnya..sudah lama
Ku sungguh berkecil hati


can`t you even see through me? `` Thursday, November 01, 2007