3.28.2007
To my late grand-aunt, nyayi bumiah, you will be missed
May your soul rest in peace.
Lately, ive been thinking again....and dats not good. Ive lost ppl close to me, i feel the lost, but i dont feel the grief. I feel the empathy....but i cant physically show it. It is as seemed my heart has develop a counter measure to all of these emotional breakdown.
When my late grandfather passed away, I felt his lost dearly.....however....i didnt have tears pouring down my cheeks...i teard....in bits.
However, sometimes when im all alone.....and flash back of him appeared in my head, id feel super sad, sometimes angry...on why i didnt show it before, when his body was laying beside me. And as normal, id try to laugh off things or be lame n crappy. sometimes its better like that.
I realise that sometimes, im a bit irrational about my behaviour. Id be moody to those im close with and arguments are inevitable. Its my way of preventing myself of getting hurt i guess. After various experience in this field of what u may call, partnership, I dont really have complete trust over anyone. i mean....its rather hard. I was positive for a very long time. however, from time to time, u just need dat extra boost and warmth of assurance. Maybe as a child, ive develop this cold alter personality, one was created from the depths of loneliness and isolation. It will be good if people understood this.
Wow......dats some deep stuff....not good....muz stay POSITIVE........
wokay......so wats up peeps. hope you all had a wonderful, blessed and meaningful life so far
IM gonna get bz w school stuff
exams arnd the corner........the battle has just began....
may you be blessed with good health
If you are wondering why i didnt write abt my day, well.....its getting monotonous nowadays....heres a recap of stuff i did for the past few weeks
not in chronological order
1) watched 300!! :D:D
2) watched path finder :P
3) eaten nasi ayam penyet twice a in 2 weeks at 2 diff places :D:D
4) prepared for maths and microP quiz :(
5) watched downloaded movies such 'take the lead','step up' :)
6) Did a booth with T.Arts @the Quad :D:D
7) Bought a 'Mozart effect audio CD' :):)
8) Completed 'Made Man' :)
9) broucht home circuit board for project...did the wiring :I
10) Did my architecture presentation...brief but effective :)
well dats about all that i can remember...till next time
-0utz-
can`t you even see through me? `` Wednesday, March 28, 2007
