11.06.2007
I dont need them
Its just passed asar....and this mind couldnt focus much to study...so I decided to blog for a lil bit. I think I need a break....from all the shity things in my life right now, to reassess myself and plan for the next few years of mylife. Since things happened, I think I need to change the plan I had before.
I always think that I need someone.....someone who I can care for, someone who can care for me and etc...and prolly cos of my age too...im not getting any younger. Well, maybe I dont need it as much now...as in maybe its not the right time to be thinking about all of this. They are right, why do I need to worry about these issues when all it does is make life more complicated for me. Further more...Im a guy...time is not a factor for me.Love will come....maybe its already there...present...but im not able to cherish it as much.
Complications which will lead to my downfall. (it has proven me right so far).
So I ask myself....are all these necessary? True, id feel left out when I go out on outings with friends who are already attatched or engaged, true it will get lonely and all but hey....at least im free to make decisions for me now...and not thinking about how it might affect the other party. In short..im free....
So lets get myself conditioned to how things were a few years back...when im single and had so much time for myself, friends whom I can send my time with till late. I realised somethings from a friend today...things related to watever that ive been bothered with. Im not at any lost. And from my observation...I dont think I am too. Its impossible to explain stuff to people when their mind is fixed,
"What use is your eyes if you cant see...What use is your heart if you cant feel"
" Apa gunanya mata jika itdak dapat melihat, apa gunanya hati jika tidak dapat merasa?"
I have too many flaws......flaws which im trying to correct. However, there are just things that I cant ammend.My Identity...what makes me..ME. You know..like things you hear bout ppl..oh..hes very stern, hes very matured...oh him? He is smart and well organized. ME? Im just a carefree funny guy. The merepek guy who doesnt seem to know what he's doing....the kind that seems to not bother bout crucial things. Well sit down with me for coffee...id let you see a different side to your assumptions. I tease alot....thats heriditary...dad got it from gramps....and I got it from dad. Thus explained. My outlook deceives not only others but me as well. I seemed casual in times of crisis, look 18 when im 25....(hahaha) and even forced to show my IC when I buy my ciggs. I use to get complaints about my dressing."can you wear something appropiate...thats kinda like your age?" WHAT? Sorry but yanz dont do shirt and pants. I wear what I feel comfortable in...even if it does look a bit off.....as long as im not breaking any rules...im rather contented.
Ok this entry is just to occupy my time and gain my alertness...Im not 'whining' or anything and its not so private and personal as to be blogged in LJ.
Im ammused by how ppl tend to judge me....without even giving some benefit of a doubt. Heh....too bad.
Ok now its back to ROBOTICS EE4268. Buck up buddy....juz a bit more....and the world is yours....
All the best 4 the Exams peeps
God Bless
can`t you even see through me? `` Tuesday, November 06, 2007
