9.24.2007



What the hell is wrong

Saturday

I was supposed to be at The National Library in the morning, however, I fail to wake up. My alarm clock failed me, I failed me and ontop of it all, failed you. Honestly I apologise ok. You dressed up huh? trying to seduce our lecturer is it...hahaha

So in my dazed, I got dressed and made my way to TAPAC. Im learning bass now. Rather a cool instrument to play. Im also picking up guitaring again. Its been a long while, however, that particular song made me want to pick it up again. Who knows, maybe one day I'll be good enough to play on it for real, churning every trail of thought to lyrics and every chordless hums as melodies. That would be nice.

I was invited over to Darul Shifaq, an old folks home located in West Coast, to help prepare and celebrate the mid autumn festival. Its sad to see this folks, some struggling in their wheelchairs, some gazing endlessly at the entrance; waiting for a familiar face, others just restlessly burrying themselves in deep thoughts. Their eyes are filled with sorrow. Deserted and uncared for by blood or some given the delusion that life here will be better. Its a sad and painful ordeal. My loneliness is nowhere near theirs. My sadness is but a teardrop in the sea of tears

As candles were carefully placed in the lanterns, these folks, with that slight joy present in them did their best to put on a smile. As candles were lit....so did their faces. The warmth and radiance of it can turn the grey clouds white again.

Wheelchairs strolled off the ramp and onto the bricked road, with lanterns held by frail gentle hands. Laughters and voices long hidden were released,piercing the silence of the night. Like small kids they were, giggling and amused by the colorful lanterns. Sadly the moment cannot last for long. Before long, they are back within the walls that protect them. Walls which they have got accustomed to. Walls which they call home. When all the patients are back to their beds, the non-residents help clear up the area. It will be a months time till our next meet. And they will count the number of days in their sleep. When the first 'Takbir' is heard echoeing in full solemness, thats when they know the day is coming near. Till then, take good care and with Gods will, we shall meet again.


Sunday

Sunday, back to Tapac for a meeting. Its a reflective session and as usual, everyones a victim. Farid for his magic capabilities, Osh for his lack of hair, and me for having a 'different' sense of fashion(hair inclusive). This is something we have gotten used to of cause. Every conversation with Encik Salleh is always a fruitful one. Knowledge was passed down, words of wisdom recorded for our own benefit, music skills; to complement our hollow lives. May we all pull through all the hurdles ahead.amin

I iftared at gramps. Meeting aunts and uncles, cuzzins and also the newly borns. The house was what you migh call, rowdy. It was bustling with laughter. This side of the family, is one that I am most comfortable with. For with this side, you feel at ease, no hipocracies, no agendas, nothing. Just simple earnest people who cares and has lots of love to give. its just 3 out of 7 and already its going haywire. imagine if all the children came down. haha...that will happen on first shawal. And id be there, armed with my video camera, taking photos of their sad faces, during the forgiveness session. After that, id just blackmail them for money..HAHAH



" If im no longer worth the attention or even your time, do let me know
If a minute of ur time is hard to forgo, do let me know
For I hate feeling ignored that you must know
I know im nothing more....but at least say it and i'll know"

~ unknown




can`t you even see through me? `` Monday, September 24, 2007