9.30.2007

Plunged out

"There's nowhere to run
I have no place to go
Surrender my heart' body and soul
How can it be you're asking me to feel the things you never show

I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through
And then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe
That there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say
I would do it all again
Just want you to know

I try to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby, it's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

If you can save these tears from crying
Touch these hands that can't stop shaking
Hear my heart that's barely beating
You will see a different man
But baby here I am"

- unknown

'Sometimes in life, you will get into something called a phase. Whereby it messes you up and starts taking you to places unimaginable. Things and ideas foreign to you will somehow be similar...and worst of all if there is a poor level of communication...(in a relationship) things can get sour. I thought its was impossible...but it kinda hit you unknowingly.

I was happy once. But happiness did come with a price. And I was tested. The phase I went through came unknowingly and unexpected. Within weeks, the effects were unimaginable. I stumbled and paid a dear price for it.

For months HE tested my sincerity...and only he knows the answer. It does not matter now, things happen and life has to move on. Even those you hold dear too might slip away un knowingly. Aziz M Osman is now a single. A father of 5 children....and an ex wife who is attatched to someone else. They were a happy couple for 15 years. It just crumbled one day. How tragic that is. My idea of marriage and this idea of love is somehow questioned. Im looking for something solid, something that can bring me to my last breath.

To you I surrender my self....may you bless me with the richness of life."

- unknown

can`t you even see through me? `` Sunday, September 30, 2007

9.27.2007

Theres Hope Just yet

Ive stumbled upon an inspiring video. One that explains the meaning of Love. Of sacrifice and selflessness. There is still hope. There is still hope

Thanks to Singa Sepet for sharing the video.

So are we still alone?

can`t you even see through me? `` Thursday, September 27, 2007

9.26.2007

Society Amuses me

Im facing collateral damage soon. A week full of Quizes (tests) and exams around the corner. I go through this phase every year, every semester in fact. If you see me cursing the institution or MOE, then you know it has begun.

I used to think that life was already planned out for me. I go through stages in my life, passed the tests and proceed on to the next stage. However, Its been a while since im trapped in this stage im currently in. I cant seem to progress. And honestly, its getting tiring. Minus the religious purpose in this life. I know that my reason here is to leave a legacy. One that will bring forward my name and that of my forefathers. Its amazing how ive come to this. Is it really mine? Or am I being influenced. Society have somehow set certain guidelines for us. Guidelines not rules, which are so vague and unfirm. Whats right and wrong may be the creation of one single mind. A mind that we are to trust. However, History have a way of revealing things. even history itself is a pact of lies in favor or those in power. So what is it that we based our lives on. Luckily for me, I have the Quran. The way of life. However even muslims do not seem to follow whats given to them. They either do less or do more.

Ok, lets not touch on religion. Even before we were born, our lives are already mapped out. Have you considered that? "I want my son to be a lawyer" " I want my son to be an acountant" "I want my daughter to go to RGS" etc etc. This realy make you feel owned dont you. As in theres a tag at the back of your feet saying "property of so and so. I agree that to a certain degree, it is appropiate cos kids are dumb. They think that they know the world. In reality, they only see 'their' world and not the reality as we see it. The path stops after 10 years of education. From there on, its time for the child to carve his own future. So as parents, pray hard that when that time comes, you have already equipt the child with the neccessary tools. Theres a difference from mapping the road, and helping to map the road, If you have raised the child well, they will occasionally go back to you, to keep tabs on whether they are doing good. If not, they will be drifting....and when you see that, you know that youve failed and have to reel him/her back in. Its not easy...the reeling...you might even break ur line. Thats where patience sets in. ( The things I observe from fishing).

As I sat at the corner of Orchard road a while back, looking at all these strangers walking along, Each with their own story to tell, I wish I can just pick one out and get to know him/her. Its like watching a movie...only that this time, its real. Life is lonely.I feel like that often. And seriously, I believed that life was all about me. It might sound selfish but to an extent its true. Im going to answer for everything, who would want to watch my back? However, certain experience I go through in life taught me that im not. Even if i am as such physically, emotionally and internally im not. We cannot function alone. We need each other. "Hidup bermasyarakat". Amazingly, The Army taught me an important lesson in this. "its about the person next to you". Sounds familiar? It was from BLACK HAWK DOWN. Eric Bana said that to the ranger before going back into the battle zone after moments from leaving it . If we only think about ourselves, life will be shallow wouldnt it. However, if we can touch the lives of others, then its a sea of possibilities. We are lonely, unless we have bonds. Thats what tells us we are alive. To hear our name mention from the tongues of others, to have our body held by others, to have our heart touched by others and ou mind inspired by others. How so can we say we are alone. An orphan who lives alone and has no other human to talk too. He is alone. However, the greatest bond of all...is that of you and the creator. Once you get that..then you will never be alone.

There is no right or wrong. Everyone have their own defination of right and wrong. Common sense to one may not me common sense to another. Experience and knowledge that we have varies from one individual to another. The only conclusion, there is none. We are capable of compassion. Our souls are pure, its untouched by the rubbish we get from this world. So touch your heart, not your mind, your heart...let your soul ans you....and you know if its the best thing to do. The best thing to do may not always be the right one. and vice versa. But faith is a great tool isnt it? Try taking the left path for a change...even if its against social norms. However, keep track of your path..so that when you get lost, you know your way back.

"Live free, Die hard, Bad boys for life...."

Take A Look Around

All the teachin' in da world today All the little girls fillin' up da world today When the good comes to bad, the bad comes to good But I'm a live my life like i should Now da critics wanna hit it This hit? How we did it, just because they don't get it But I'll stay fitted, new era commited Now this red cap gets a rap from these critics But do we always gotta cry Do we always gotta live inside a lie Life's just a blast cuz its movin' really fast So ya better stay on top or life'll kick you in the ass Follow me into a solo Remember that, kid, so whatcha wanna do And where ya gonna run when your stari'n down the cable of my mic Pointed at yo grill like a gun Limp Bizkit is rockin' the set It's like russian roulette when you're placin' your bet So don't be upset when you're broke and you're done Cuz I'm a be the one till I jet I know why you wanna hate me Cuz hate is all the world has even seen lately And now you wanna hate me Cuz hate is all the world has even seen lately Does anybody really know the secret Or the combination for this life and where they keep it It's kinda sad when you don't know the meaning But everything happens for a reason I don't even know what i should say Cuz I'm an idiot, a loser A microphone abuser I analyze every second I exist Beatin' up my mind every second with my fist And everybody wanna run Everybody wanna hide from da gun You can dig a rat through this life if you want But you can't dig the edge off a knife (no sir) And now you want your money back But you're denied, cuz your brain's fried from the sack And there aint nothin' i could do Cuz life is a lesson, you'll learn it when you're through I know why you wanna hate me Cuz hate is all the world has even seen lately And now you wanna hate me Cuz hate is all the world has even seen lately Now... I... know... why (now I know why you wanna hate me) I know why you wanna hate me Cuz hate is all the world has even seen lately And now you wanna hate me Cuz hate is all the world has even seen lately

can`t you even see through me? `` Wednesday, September 26, 2007

9.24.2007

What the hell is wrong

Saturday

I was supposed to be at The National Library in the morning, however, I fail to wake up. My alarm clock failed me, I failed me and ontop of it all, failed you. Honestly I apologise ok. You dressed up huh? trying to seduce our lecturer is it...hahaha

So in my dazed, I got dressed and made my way to TAPAC. Im learning bass now. Rather a cool instrument to play. Im also picking up guitaring again. Its been a long while, however, that particular song made me want to pick it up again. Who knows, maybe one day I'll be good enough to play on it for real, churning every trail of thought to lyrics and every chordless hums as melodies. That would be nice.

I was invited over to Darul Shifaq, an old folks home located in West Coast, to help prepare and celebrate the mid autumn festival. Its sad to see this folks, some struggling in their wheelchairs, some gazing endlessly at the entrance; waiting for a familiar face, others just restlessly burrying themselves in deep thoughts. Their eyes are filled with sorrow. Deserted and uncared for by blood or some given the delusion that life here will be better. Its a sad and painful ordeal. My loneliness is nowhere near theirs. My sadness is but a teardrop in the sea of tears

As candles were carefully placed in the lanterns, these folks, with that slight joy present in them did their best to put on a smile. As candles were lit....so did their faces. The warmth and radiance of it can turn the grey clouds white again.

Wheelchairs strolled off the ramp and onto the bricked road, with lanterns held by frail gentle hands. Laughters and voices long hidden were released,piercing the silence of the night. Like small kids they were, giggling and amused by the colorful lanterns. Sadly the moment cannot last for long. Before long, they are back within the walls that protect them. Walls which they have got accustomed to. Walls which they call home. When all the patients are back to their beds, the non-residents help clear up the area. It will be a months time till our next meet. And they will count the number of days in their sleep. When the first 'Takbir' is heard echoeing in full solemness, thats when they know the day is coming near. Till then, take good care and with Gods will, we shall meet again.

Sunday

Sunday, back to Tapac for a meeting. Its a reflective session and as usual, everyones a victim. Farid for his magic capabilities, Osh for his lack of hair, and me for having a 'different' sense of fashion(hair inclusive). This is something we have gotten used to of cause. Every conversation with Encik Salleh is always a fruitful one. Knowledge was passed down, words of wisdom recorded for our own benefit, music skills; to complement our hollow lives. May we all pull through all the hurdles ahead.amin

I iftared at gramps. Meeting aunts and uncles, cuzzins and also the newly borns. The house was what you migh call, rowdy. It was bustling with laughter. This side of the family, is one that I am most comfortable with. For with this side, you feel at ease, no hipocracies, no agendas, nothing. Just simple earnest people who cares and has lots of love to give. its just 3 out of 7 and already its going haywire. imagine if all the children came down. haha...that will happen on first shawal. And id be there, armed with my video camera, taking photos of their sad faces, during the forgiveness session. After that, id just blackmail them for money..HAHAH

" If im no longer worth the attention or even your time, do let me know
If a minute of ur time is hard to forgo, do let me know
For I hate feeling ignored that you must know
I know im nothing more....but at least say it and i'll know"

~ unknown

can`t you even see through me? `` Monday, September 24, 2007

9.22.2007

Geylang Serai

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I had a very dissapointing and unfruitful day at TP today. This is because, our design have not even been vetted yet. And its already a week, Gosh Im starting to worry. So me and Iz spent the whole day enjoying the free wireless access, and of cause, alittle work here and there. After dat, we left early and I spent my time roaming around TM. THe place sure brings back memories. I fell in love with this black jacket @ SnK selling for $19!! wat a good deal lah...still contemplating to buy or not...any takers ppl? its only $19! buy me one puhlease.... HAHAHA

I made way to Paya Lebar. During the train ride, I notice that after each stop, There are more Malays on board the train. And after each stop also, The 'wild' level increases. haha. Its amazing this Geylang phenomenon. Its like the ultimate endurance test. Cos there, Chicks of all shape and sizes are there...and they are dressed to kill I tell you. The irony.

Ok I reached Payar Lebar around 445pm. Mum and my siblings wnt be here till after maghrib. I surveyed the area with the 'LUXURIOUS' time allocated to me (TIRED wei!!..Did I mention that I brought along my lap top and notes?! Heavy!) After walking around endlessly an excruciating pain for more than an hour, I stop by Darul Arqam to do my prayers and rest. They have this nice bookstore. I didnt noe wat force drew me into it but it made me buy 3 books. Inspirational ones in these dire times. I met a familiar face there, Shiq , from rebutia. Its hilarious the way she approach me. cos I believe shes been wanting to say hifor some time but was unsure. Im glad she did though, Had a brief conversation. I buka-ed at Masjid Khalid. My favourite buka spot...I love their Nasi Briyani. Too bad....there were none today..But alhamdulilah, I didnt starve.

The food they serve was not bad. I was rather full actually. After Maghrib, Went on to observe the Geylang phenomenon.... Met a familiar face again...This time its Abg Azroy Sulaiman. A veteran artist. Hes selling deng deng if im not wrong. Oh its infront of the Banquet, near the Bridge.

Mum called soon after I took this shot, In my daze of mesmerization, for the tireless beauty of Geylang serai.

Shopping with mum has always been a test of patience and endurance. Anyways got myself nice stuff to wear this coming raya. Its different from the rest of my baju kurungs. Anyways While paying for the goods, An Angel drop by in the name of Rohani. If only words can describe wat I saw. Anyways we exchange glances and smiles. And I saw her staring from the corner of my eyes (which was confirmed by my bro, haha) Im gonna visit 2nd chance again. HAHAHA

While mum was looking for her stuff, I took Herman out to shop for caps. We rendevous we Dad who came at just the right time. To pressure the ladies to hurry. I was becoming restless.....and the bag wasnt helping. After much pestering from me, they finally left TKC. Only to be distracted by the carpet auction outside.

She bought a $30 carpet by the way. Good catch

I was happy when we finally got to city plaza, To the CAR!! Amusingly, God had other plans for me. It came in the form of ' Find the carpark' game. 4 families, one objective, OUT. Who will win?

HAHA..we were all looking for the exit., As the Shopping Centre was already closed, it was dark. and most of the exit doors are locked. Toot rite.

Anyways, Who else found the exit but the ever trustworthy Navigation trained PS, ME. We were saved, YEY

Had a proper meal at Amin Bt Timah after that....
What a day....

You are gonna love this

Title: Foo Fighters - Times Like These

I am a one way motorwayI’m the one that drives awayThen follows you back homeI am a street light shiningI’m a wild light blinding brightBurning off aloneIt’s times like these you learn to live againIt’s times like these you give and give againIt’s times like these you learn to love againIt’s times like these time and time againI am a new day risingI’m a brand new skyTo hang the stars upon tonightI am a little dividedDo I stay or run awayAnd leave it all behind? It’s times like these you learn to live againIt’s times like these you give and give againIt’s times like these you learn to love againIt’s times like these time and time again

can`t you even see through me? `` Saturday, September 22, 2007

9.21.2007

Chasing Wonderland

Thursday morning is again one of those times I wish someone would not discover school and education. It was my heaviest day which stretches from 830am to 630pm and only 2hrs of break in between. I was awaken by my half dead alarm clock, (Its not mine, Someone took my ALARM CLOCK and pass me this 'accident' !)

Anyways, Both the 'clock' and my cellphone did their best to wake their master. They did eventually, at TEN. I can hear mum screaming by this time (HAHA). So I woke up and got dressed. Hmmm what to wear? Since im late, the late protocol comes to action. Grab watever that is presentable. ie - not requiring much ironing.

And so JJC hockey jersey it was ppl. Its clean, its nice and minus the JJC and FBT, it looks cool. I rushed off to school along with my new found fren, the laptop. Oh by the way, I pampered it a while back. Bought it conditioner and shampoo as well as new gears to wear. It looks clean now.

Met up with my Group mates for Engineers and Society. Its amazing that not many ppl know of the imminent danger they are in. Assignments are due the week after recess ppl!! and its not just the presentation. 1500 words split among 6 ppl. Do-able....I like the odds. :)

Simaa wanted so much to look at my new hairstyle. Oh yah..I had a haircut. Managed to persuade my hairdresser to open late for me.HAHA. Anyways..sabar lah.....its not like its the end of school. Its just a week break for goodness sake.break? WAT BREAK!!! Im seeing myself coming to school everyday to mug. Hope the Z monsters having its break too.

I took 199 home, and alighted before the shell junction as usual. 99 was right in front.., the 2 ladies who were from the same bus as me already gave chase. And like most SBS drivers that deserve to get beaten up, The driver just took off. And so did I. I ran across the rows of blocks to the next bus stop. I stopped running. Cos the bus was not stopping at the junction and experience tells me that im so not going to make it. As I was walking, the two same ladies picked up their pace...they were running. I was puzzled..so I checked the junction.(by this time the 99 bus had past). 198 was waiting for the green arrow at the junction. And so the 3 of us ran for it..as comical as it seems. When we reached the bus stop, we looked at each other and smiled (things we do sometimes I tell you)

I got home safe. Was a very warm night dnt you think? So, I did my Ramadhans obligation and the rest was history

"I need better equipments to fight the Z army. Any ideas? oh yah....sleeping early is not an option. cos I just cant."

I shall end this entry with a song dats simple yet meaning full. This guy rocks I tell you

EVERLONG

Hello, I've waited here for you, everlong Tonight, I throw myself into and out of the red, Out of her head she sang Come down and waste away with me, down with me Slow how, you wanted it to be, I'm over my head, out of her head she sang And I wonder when I sing along with you If everything could ever feel this real forever If anything could ever be this good again The only thing I'll ever ask of you You've got to promise not to stop when I say when She sang Breathe out, so I can breathe you in, hold you in And now, I know you've always been out of your head, Out of my head I sang And I wonder when I sing along with you If everything could ever feel this real forever If anything could ever be this good again The only thing I'll ever ask of you You've got to promise not to stop when I say When she sang And I wonder if everything could ever feel this real forever If anything could ever be this good again The only thing I'll ever ask of you You've got to promise not to stop when I say when WALKING AFTER YOUTonight I'm tangled in my blanket of clouds Dreaming aloud Things just won't do without you, matter of fact I'm on your back, I'm on your back, I'm on your back If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you If you'd accept surrender, I'll give up some more Weren't you adored I cannot be without you, matter of fact I'm on your back, I'm on your back, I'm on your back If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you Another heart is cracked in two, I'm on your back I cannot be without you, matter of fact I'm on your back, I'm on your back, I'm on your back If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you Another heart is cracked in two, I'm on your back

can`t you even see through me? `` Friday, September 21, 2007

9.19.2007

In the 'Light of Ramadhan', let as talk about the unexplained miracles that we have faced. Have you ever encounter a miracle? It is said dat we are all protected by two angels. And this being it, I think my angels are forced to do a bit more work.

I had seen miracles from a very young age. I was pr 3 then. And I had this Arts homework to submit the next day. So that sunday night, I only manage to complete the drawing minus the coloring. I know im doomed and having a strict arts teacher is not helping either. So I went to bed in fear of what awaits me the next day. When I woke up, to my surprise, the whole picture is colored and completed, to the way I wanted it to be. I checked with my parents if they did it. They looked confused and puzzled.

Dejavu is something that I experience frequently....and I still cant explain it till now

Moving along...
I was driving along AYE, tired and sleepy. I was from tampines and during the drive back, my eyes just couldnt stay open. So at some moment, My eyes did close and I was doing 100 over i think and at the left most lane. So suddenly, Something woke me up and pulled the wheel to the right.The divider was dead ahead. an eerie chill went down my spine and it kept me awake throughout the ride.

recently, this eerie incident happened
I went home to find the house empty. Feeling very tired, I washed my feet and went to my room. It was raining, so the windows were closed. I opened it slightly as i was feeling unusualy warm. Ive no Aircon by the way. So I slept for a good 3 hrs or so. I woke up, Went to the washroom, lit some buddies and went out. I was hungry. so I decided to cook. WHen I check the stove, I realise that one of them had been practically ON. as in....gas was seeping out for the last 3 hrs!! I freaked out!
So I ran around the house, Opened all the windows and doors. Once done...I sat down and took a breather. I could have died in 2 ways dat day.

1) Gas poisoning, if I didnt open the window
2) Explosion, as the bathroom was in the kitchen.

Maybe its not my time yet

Have you ever seen yourself..as in your body before? I had...and I wasnt dreaming. This happened early in the school in NTU. Im so not gonna sleep at LKC lvl B1 arnd dat time again.

You must be wondering y im telling you all this weird stuff. Well my friends, accept it or not, we are not the only beings roaming around this world. There are other beings...beings that we cant see with our naked eyes. It all lies in faith.
When you believe, Then you can see and feel. Certain practices our fore fathers passed on to us will only work if we believe.

Like putting a grass over your ear to prevent storms, or even slapping your pillow to wake you on time. This 'Traditional' Practices do work. I have seen the effects. Its one thing to be ignorant, but to redicule things that are alien to you is pathetic.

So open your eyes and heart. There are major things at work here.
Ever felt that you are being watched?.....mayb you are...by angels....

can`t you even see through me? `` Wednesday, September 19, 2007

9.17.2007

Today im gonna intro you to one of my greatest passion in life.

Im not really a trance or house or techno fan...but this music really want to make me push the accelerator all the way.

Racing and cars happen to be my greatest passion besides others. Take a look at the video....see if you see what I mean

By the way, this is taken from the greatest car movie ever produced, Initial D. Based from a Japanese manga and anime, this movie which was produced in 2005 really sets the bench mark for car movies. If you think Tokyo drift is all there is to drifting,Boy you are so wrong

I will guide you along the video

First up, is the Toyata Trueno AE86

The next scene, you can see the Trueno battling the ever powerful Nissan Skyline R32

After that is the trueno with the white Mitsubishi Evo 4

The last part is the final race between Mitsubishi Evo 7,Mazda Rx7 FC32(my favourite!) and of cause the souped up Trueno

look at the way they handle those curves..
And women tot they were sexy.....HAHA

can`t you even see through me? `` Monday, September 17, 2007

Ok...Ramadhan is surely an intresting month. Have you all heard about the latest phenomenon around the Jurong area? Well as a concern resident, I decided to go and check it out one saturday afternoon.

Jurong West st 42 which is usually peaceful and serene during Saturday afternoons is bustling with ppl. Some as far as JB! And why? Its because, apparently, It is said a natural phenomenon, taking the shape of deities of hindu and buddhist beliefs occured in some of the trees there. To be accurate 3. The deities are of the Monkey God and Guan Ling (Goddess of Mercy)(sorry if i mispelt this),of the Budhist belief, Haruman and an Elephant deity, from the Hindu belief. With any spiritual phenomenon such as this, there are bound to be gamblers around. Ppl looking out for those magic 4 numbers. In fact, a few numbers did arise. The reverse of one of them was actually the top price in the recent Johor sweep. Now you know why ppl as far as JB were there.

At night after visiting my uncle, My family again dop by the place. It was past midnight...and the crowd is getting larger. Prayers and rituals were performed.

I find it intresting. cos now, There are 5 trees being worshipped. Who knows tommorow, the whole stretch? im not kidding!! go check it out if you dont belief

The buddhist monkey god

Hindu Elephant deity

Haruman

Guan ying

I wasnt kidding about the crowd.

can`t you even see through me? `` Monday, September 17, 2007

9.14.2007

Ramadhan, a month as pure as a newborn child and as priceless as life itself. Its a time of spiritual rehabilitation. Clensing ourself for past sins and also to be a loyal servant to the Al-Mighty.

A time of Bazaar Ramadhans, Terawihs and raya shopping. Its an interesting month. You know what I mean.

Im feeling nostalgic in the ushering of this holy month. From rocking on to Bon Jovi in secondary school to the groove Jay-Z in NS. From sweet memories to bad ones.

I went to TP again today for lab. Was really productive. Came out with the 2 initial designs on Autocad.

When I got home, my sis was all 'singy' today. She has such a beautiful voice. Sometimes its cool to duet with her.

Im feeling restless...but this mind just cant seem to stop thinking and worrying. Sis introed me to this song..which I find rather soothing...check it out

Heres 'Izinkan ku pergi' by Kaer

IZINKAN KU PERGI (ALLOW ME TO LEAVE)
muzik: Kaer

Sinaran mata, (The eyes,)
cerita segalanya, (tells everything,)
duka lara terbentang, (all the hidden pain,)
memori semalam.. (in previous memories..)

Tinggal segala cinta, (all the love thats left behind,)
tiada kembalinya, (will never come back,)
abadi kasih kita, (our eternal / everlasting love,)
kau bawa bersama, (you brought it with you,)
mimpi indah mekar, (beautiful dreams bloom,)
saat cinta bersemi, (the time when our love blossom,)
sedetik asrama syurga selamanya.. ( a moment of romance is heaven forever..)

*Pergilah rinduku, (my memories just go,)
hilanglah dirimu, (and be gone,)
tak sanggup menanggung, (I'm unable to handle,)
derita dikalbuku.. (all the pain that's in me..)
pergilah sayangku, (my darling please go,)
bermula semula, (it starts again,)
semangat cintaku, (my spirit of love,)
membara kerana dia, (heats up because of her,)
tiada niat ku.. (it's not my intentions..)

**Tersemat jiwa, (your faithful soul,)
setia bersamanya, (is kept together,)
cinta murni berdua, (beautiful love between the two,)
beribu tahun nya, (lasts thousands of years,)
mimpi indah mekar, (beautiful love happens,)
saat cinta besemi, (as our love blossoms,)
sedetik asmara syurga, (a moment of romance is heaven,)
selamanya.. (forever..)

ulang * & ** (Repeat * & **)

Maafkan aku, (forgive me,)
duhai kasih, (my love,)
izinkan ku pergi (allow me to leave)

can`t you even see through me? `` Friday, September 14, 2007

9.12.2007

Im having a quiz tommorow....and somehow I cant get my mind focused. Im thinking about things that I shouldnt. I learnt something today...more like the ignorance clouding me is lifted temporarilly. Certain things requires certain level of knowledge to aquire. Its like unlocking that mystery car in "need for speed underground". You need to win several races.
I would want to see the world, but to get that, my knowledge of it has to to be as wide.

Kail sejengkal, lautan dalam jangan diduga

"Dunia ini nyata
Hanya sementara
Dunia ini hanya lapangan ujian
TIdak ada soalan,Tak perlu diulangkaji
Hanya mencari rahsia iman

Dunia ini palsu
Hanya gurauan
Kalau gurauan jadi pakaian keterlaluan
Hidup ini kosong dalam kepadatan ruang

Dunia ini berbangsa berbahasa berbudaya dan beragama
Bangsa berjiwa bahasa atau kehilangan bangsa
Bahasa jiwa bangsa atau langsung tak punya jiwa
Budaya nilai bangsa atau bangsa sudah kehilangan budaya
Agama jadi pedoman atau pedoman jadi agama.."

- part of 'Dunia' - Azman Shariff

"He tried hard to climb out of the misery.
Each painful step taken, Sharp rocks tearing his flesh
As he kept his naked self flat against the wall
Ashamed, he tries hard to save his strength
Tears or red pollutes the pureness below him
He tried taking one more grip ahead
A firm one he got
As he tries puling himself up
The firmness he assumed failed him
He lost his footing
He fell hard and again soaked in the crimson water
crimson water he himself help create
He wont noe if he theres any strength left"

-unknown

Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

Its no surprise to be misunderstood
the challenge is to be understood

can`t you even see through me? `` Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The great pretenders we humans are. Trying to be someone we are not. Ironically, its something that we have to do not something we want to. In all sincerity and innocense, it kinda look stupid. You can pretend...in moderation..dont drift to far away from the ground for someday, you just cant find the way back down.

Then youll be trapped in your own world. the world that only you can conquer.

"Stupid girl"

You pretend you´re high
You pretend you´re bored
You pretend you´re anything
Just to be adored
And what you need
Is what you get

Don´t believe in fear
Don´t believe in faith
Don´t believe in anything
That you can´t break

You stupid girl
You stupid girl
All you had you wasted
All you had you wasted

What drives you on (What drives you on)
Can drive you mad (Can drive you mad)
A million lies to sell yourself
Is all you ever had

Don´t believe in love
Don´t believe in hate
Don´t believe in anything
That you can´t waste

You stupid girl
You stupid girl
Can´t believe you fake it
Can´t believe you fake it

Don´t believe in fear
Don´t believe in pain
Don´t believe in anyone
That you can´t tame

You stupid girl
You stupid girl
All you had you wasted
All you had you wasted

You stupid girl
You stupid girl
Can´t believe you fake it
Can´t believe you fake it

You stupid girl
You stupid girl
Can´t believe you fake it
Can´t believe you fake it

You stupid girl.

This lyrics are copyrighted by their respective owners (Garbage)

can`t you even see through me? `` Wednesday, September 12, 2007

9.11.2007

Sometimes its hard to really know a person...even if you think you do. Sometimes its hard to even be noticed, to be alone. Somethimes you wish you are just that other person but in reality you cant run away. You are hurt but your smile mask the wound. Like a ninja you move in the shadows, and like an injured animal you cower in the cover of darkness. Darkness is your companion and it will be.Welcome to my world. Of not being seen or heard. To not even be a shadow...or a smell. I am the Invisibleman.

Put boyband stereotypes aside. Honour the song and genuine singers. It may be displeasing to the eyes...but bottom line. It make sense.

98 Degrees
Invisible Man
Written by Dane DeViller, Sean Hosein, and Steve Kipner

Verse
You can hardly wait to tell all your friends
How his kisses taste sweet like wine
And how he always makes your heart skip a beat
Every time he walks by
And if you're feeling down, he'll pick you up
He'll hold you close when you're making love
He's everything you've been dreaming of (oh, baby)

Chorus
I wish you'd look at me that way
Your beautiful eyes looking deep into mine
Telling me more than any words could say
But you don't even know I'm alive
Baby, to you, all I am is the invisible man

Verse
You probably spend hours on the phone
Talking 'bout nothing at all
It doesn't matter what the conversation
Just as long as he called
Lost in a love so real and so sincere
You wipe away each other's tears
Your face lights up whenever he appears

Chorus

Bridge
(You don't see me)
I see you all the time, baby
(You don't see me)
The way you look at him
(You don't see me)
I wish it was me, sweetheart
Boy, I wish it was me
But I guess it'll never be

Chorus

can`t you even see through me? `` Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Ok someone smack me silly...im surfing more than I should.

I finally found my favourite song of yesteryears. The time when songs had a deep meaning to it. Where things besides fashion made perfect sense. This is Reo Speedwagon guys. Listen to the lyrics...

Caught this during Lois and Clare the new adventures of Superman, donkey years ago. It really caught my attention. hope it will to u too.

TO all you lovers out there.....dnt go in too deep. dive in only on safe waters

Can't Fight This Feeling

I can't fight this feeling any longer
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow
What started out as friendship, has grown stronger
I only wish I had the strength to let it show
I tell myself that I can't hold out forever
I said there is no reason for my fear
Cause I feel so secure when we're together
You give my life direction
You make everything so clear

And even as I wander
I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window
On a cold, dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you
I've been running round in circles in my mind
And it always seems that I'm following you, girl
Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find

And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

Words & Music Kevin Cronin
©1984 Fate Music, all rights reserved
Original track from the album Wheels Are Turnin'

can`t you even see through me? `` Tuesday, September 11, 2007

hope you like the first one. here is another.

Suriram....my all time favourite children song. Enjoy!

can`t you even see through me? `` Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Hello peeps. So much for keeping this site sort of private. haha. I stumbled upon a few blogs dat have this site linked to. Hmm.. anyways Ive created an LJ for private entries...so mayb its time to make this go public. And with that, its time to try out some video files. Remember TImang Burung. Well this is one of my fav songs there. Pardon me for the noisy background. Cant be helped.Its a Library. Ironic aint it.

can`t you even see through me? `` Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Memories

Today was a swell day. Went to all lessons deligiently and with utmost discipline. Chilled at the black hole with the usual crowd and saw the unsuspecting 'couple' at NIE. Amazing. When I was going home, Dara called and peruaded me to drop by her hall to makan. The gals cooked! Was super full. tanx gals..and nazlee for sending me home. This are the updates for the weekend

SATURDAY

I took home the pickup truck and had fun with it. Studied the whole morning till Subuh. Neelesh needed help in transporting some cricket equipment to NUS for this Tournament hes organizing. After dat, I went home and slept till noon and got ready for Osh's engagement. I get to meet the F6 after so long. really miss those guys. Soffs looked different..she kinda slimmed down...looks better in a way..and fairer.
So we exchanged stories and did our normal routine of photo takings and being silly.
I ate a lot there...

I rushed of to Tapac around 5 to load the stuff for Sundays show. The kids were having their free time, playing around. Apparently, one of the gals celebrated her birthday dat day. Guess what..more food. God...I took some as her mum really insisted I did.Cobaan.

Dropped off Nurul,Shuhaidah and Ashraf at Jurong East before picking up my sister at Lakeside. Then we rush off for kenduri.

SUNDAY

Went to the cemetary to visit my late grandfathers grave before Ramadhan. Its was super packed. I was rather annoyed by ppl coming in with Big lorries, coaches and even container trucks!! come on people. The roads there are small for crying out loud. These vehicles are the usual culprits for the jams in the cemetary. It took me 15 mins to get in and 20mins to leave. Cobaan

I rushed to AMK library and help settled the equipment before Koko arrives. There was a bit of confusion on who is going to be the nenek. Whether its Nurul or Shuhaidah. Apparently most of them believe that Shuhaidah did not have enough practice for the role. I told them to give her a shot since she did come for the previous shows and practice sessions. So she took the role. Her performance was ok, but I believe she could have done better with more practice. Shes talented. I hope she knows that.I had a bad headache before the show. Must be due to the super hot weather and fatigue. I endured it throughout the whole show...and back to Tapac. Oh yah Syaz came down to give her support. TANX SYAZ!

Back at Tapac, we rested. Me espeacially. since there were no panadols, I juz had to wait till the pain subsides. Farid did something amazing. He took a chair out and sat in the middle of the 'stage' area outside. Soon, we all were doing the same and shifting all the sofa and chairs there.HAHAHA. It was windier there...it helped in making the pain lesser. I helped return the pickup and Koko generously send me home on his bike. Hes going to be enlisted to NS later this morning. All the best bro. Gonna miss u for a while.

I wrote a song today..this is how it goes at the moment

Memories

Memories,
You never seem to fade away from my mind,
Even throughout all this while you are still part
Of me inside, I pray hard to fight

The pain in me,
When I look at all the pictures of us before
Which still struct a chord in my heart my love
And it bleeds again
These memories
Memories

And day and night
I pray that I might find a way to you again
And cherish all the times we had before
For I cant seem to close this book
of memories

~'for all the lonely people out there'

Dont you just hate it when friendship and relationships fail due to pride.
Dont walk away from past mistakes. try to salvage whats left.

can`t you even see through me? `` Tuesday, September 11, 2007

9.07.2007

TOday I went off to TP early in the morning for lab. Got started on the layout of our prototype connector design on Autocad. YEAH. IO skills put in use

Ive to rush off to Bedok Library after Solat. We had a performance at Bedok library. It was amazing. The audience were so fascinated by the lovely kids and their antics. There were singing ,dancing and acting. :) CUTE!

After that, I hangout in TAPAC for a while before sending off cik Salleh to Woodlands Checkpoint. Im having the pickup till Sunday :)

We talked about stuffs.... facinating. Its the first time im there without people in my comfort zone..and I feel comfortable.

can`t you even see through me? `` Friday, September 07, 2007

A little bit of touch....again

sorrow and depression,you will find meaning
A meaning as priceless as time itself
In sorrow and depression you will find strength
Strength which was never realised
In sorrow and depression you will find yourself
To pick yourself up from where you had fallen
In sorrow and depression you will find love
As pure as a child's heart

To feel pain is natural
To feel love is human
To find love is a mystery
To get True Love is a blessing

May you come to me with open arms
Hearts beating as one

Minds in unison and peace

Beneath the crimson sky

The Girl From my Dreams

can`t you even see through me? `` Friday, September 07, 2007

9.06.2007

Hello....ok ive writen im my friendster blogs on what happened during the performance day. Now its time for the ending.

Something spooky happened dat nite...before I went to sleep, I felt a hand on my hand. I tot it was Osh's.I checked with him. His hand was no where near me. SPOOKY

So the next morning, we all went to DEKTAR for breakfast, after that we toured around the UKM campus. We then went back for the closing ceremony rehersals. After dat back to our rooms for a few more rounds of taitee.

The group got into a bit of miscommunication. Its between the muda2 lah. But luckily, we wee all matured enough in handling the matter before it gets known to Cik Salleh.

The closing ceremony was grand. Theatre Rimba performed and boy were they great. Our part in the finale was to sing and dance along to the theme song and be all happy and cheery...hahaha
I had a terrible headache dat night..so the first thing after showers n prayers, I swallowed a pill which Ive gotten fm Shuhayedah. I was flat till around 3. I still hear ppl outside. So I went out and boy was I surprised to see Abg Azman there lepaking with Koko and Osh. HAHA...so we lepaked all the way to Subuh.

Next day, we went to KL. Drop by Central Market and had lunch at Kampung Bahru. THe place is one crazee eating haven I tell you. Then we are off to Malacca. Afer getting lost there for an hour, we finally reached Bandar Hilir. Did some shopping for ppl back home.

Before I know it, the trip had come to an end.
Missing you guys

can`t you even see through me? `` Thursday, September 06, 2007

9.05.2007

Its been a while...ive been thru lots of changes..and going thru one. I have to thank those who have helped....espeacially my wacky zany and delirious family of 6, Famous6. Thanx guyz. This post is dedicated specially for you all

F6 convo celebration @ Mt. Faber

Osh, Ierfan ,Soff, Ain and Kat, thanx for being there. Who would have thought dat a short night out to changi beach and a chill session of sheesha and scrabble at Bugis would turned to this. Im still adapting guys...and I am feeling comfy. :) To many wonderful years ahead in friendship.

Meet u guys soon at Osh's

can`t you even see through me? `` Wednesday, September 05, 2007